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Win Friends, Influence People, You’ll Rise to the Top

» Win Friends, Influence People, You’ll Rise to the Top

April 20th, 2008 by admin

By Kim S. Lednum

When you take time to make people feel special they are not the only ones who benefit — you also become a beneficiary! Just as food, water and shelter are considered basic needs, psychologists tell us we also need contact with other people to survive. So, right off the bat you are taking a proactive role in your own survival!

In addition, every communication encounter we have helps us to develop self-awareness, as well as insight into others. In Communication Works, Teri and Michael Gamble put it this way, “When you get to know another person, you also get to know yourself; when you get to know yourself, you learn how others affect you.” So, the communication process provides us with valuable feedback that helps us to grow and evolve as individuals.

One of the most tangible benefits to making others feel special is that you become more attractive to other people. People are instinctively drawn to someone who genuinely makes them feel good about themselves. Furthermore, your sincere attention not only has the power to lift someone else’s spirits, but it can boost your own. You can test this for yourself. The next time you see someone, offer them a sincere smile, when they smile back at you, notice if your internal “happy meter” rises a notch.

Below are seven simple ways to profoundly affect other people, make them feel special, and at the same time increase your own level of attraction. Begin by rating your skill level in each area. Using a scale of one to ten, with one being you hardly ever use this skill and ten being you masterfully use this skill daily. Next, select one area that you want to improve on in the next 30 days. Then, look for opportunities to make others feel special, and you’ll automatically become more attractive!

Practice looking and listening for the special and unique qualities in others. When you make it a habit to observe the positive characteristics of other people, you are more able to see the good qualities you possess.

Plant seeds. Tell others the good you see in them. The most important part is to be sincere, because people can sense false flattery or praise.

Strive to forgive others. We all make mistakes, and if you harbor resentment towards even one person it will poison your ability to trust others.

Make allowances for other peoples flaws. You can lower your expectations for others to be perfect, without asking them to quit striving to achieve their personal best. Our imperfections can be assets, too.

Acknowledge and address emotions. When strong feelings come up, make it okay so others feel safe sharing their emotions.

Become more tolerant of differences. By accepting and being non-judgmental of others, you have a greater ability to accept your own shortcomings.

Be real. Take off your mask of perfectionism, and share your needs, too.

By actively practicing and mastering these skills you are effectively winning friends, influencing people and getting much more in return for the few minutes it takes you to lift someone else’s spirits.

Small business coach and writing expert Kim Lednum is the “Write Promotion Coach for Business.” Kim provides simple writing and marketing strategies and tools self-employed professionals can use to build credibility, drive high quality targeted traffic to their website, and attract more subscribers, more clients, and more sales. A twenty-year veteran, former editor/publisher, and business owner Kim has a wealth of knowledge and experience to share. For more tips like these or to get her FREE audio workshop “7 Tips for Attracting Business Now!” visit:

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